The Beauty Within

21 Types of Dudes I Don't Like

2010-03-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

((Created this last year....Funny stuff lol))

SO..I'VE BEEN REALLY FED UP WiTH DUDES LATELY, SO i HAVE COMPiLED A LiST OF THE TYPES OF *N-WORDS* I DON'T LiKE, BASED UPON WHAT I HAVE SEEN AND EXPERIENCED **THEY ARE iN NO PARTiCULAR ORDER**

[1] DEAD BEAT BABY DADDY N's This pretty much speaks for itself! I mean, why you tryin to holla and your recent ex is pregnant with YOUR child?! You need to be with HER! ...And you probably still in High School...I'mma need you to work on your life a little more!

[2] WANNABE THUG N's Why are you trying to be hard all the time! I mean, really, it is NOT necessary! And ya'll always screamin out "No Homo"; I mean why do you need to reinforce your heterosexuality like you are AFRAiD to be gay and you are trying to convince yourself that you are still into women!

[3] THE "DON'T YOU GOT A GiRL" N's Why are you tryin to holla? I saw you hangin' out with your girl not too long ago, which makes me ask "Don't You Got A Girl?!"....And then he simply replies: "Naw, shawty. Whatchu talkin bout? I'm tryin to holla atchu." ....Umm, No boo boo, I don't want you....

[4] OLD A** N's You know...The ones between the ages of 30-45 that are dressing like they are a teenager, like they are from "the hood", or "down with the Hip Hop Generation"..And then some of them try to holla at young girls!! Um, no hunny, you need to dress your age and date women your age, because you look SLACK right now!

[5] DRUNK/HIGH N's Why are ya'll always getting f'd up?!?! Don't you have anything else better to do with your time? ..Or maybe you just don't have a job...

[6] "i'M BALLiN" N's Why do you wear all these name brand clothes and drive a cadillac with rims to try to prove to outside people that you got money, but secretly you live in a cardboard box! ...And these are the same N's that throw money in the club!!! ...We know how you got that money...If you were a REAL MAN, then you would invest the money that you threw in the club in the BANK!

[7] DESPERATE N's I just said NO!! Get out of my face!! Stop trying so hard and please get a life...And while you are at it, work on your game...

[8] HiGH SCHOOL DROPOUT N's You know, the ones that always seemed to get in fights and get expelled from school...Then they end up sitting around the house doing nothing, standing on the corner of some random street, or you seem to find them flippin burgers at McDonalds...Wow, your life must suck..

[9] ARROGANT N's Why do you always think that your stuff don't stink?! I mean really..you are not all that, so stop talking about yourself. And stop bragging about what you got or how you packin (because you may not be "all that" anyways)!

[10] WANNABE KOBE/LEBRON N's Just because you *think* you can play basketball, doesn't mean you are going to go pro! You are NOT that talented!

[11] MYSPACE/FACEBOOK N's Why is it that you are always trying to talk to me over the internet, but when you see me in public, you don't speak?! Be ReaL! *DELETE*

[12] BOOTY CALL N's Why are you callin me 11 o' clock at night, asking me what I'm doing and if we gonna get together tonight. N**** I AM IN MY BED SLEEPING!

[13] UGLY N's WHO THINK THEY ARE FiNE Why are you all up in my face?! My face is going to melt, because your breath is STANK!! And your game ain't right either! Don't think you can walk up to me with your dreads lookin like an old dirty mop! Before you step to me again, I'mma need you to brush your teeth and look in the mirror to try to fix your face!!

[14] WANNABE RAPPER N's We all know you CAN'T RAP! So stop standing in front of Wal Mart or the mall with a pack of burnt CDs, tryin to get all up in my face, tellin me you gonna go platinum! I know you're not, so stop wasting my time! ...Now this is the route the High School Dropout N's take...

[15] THE N's THAT ALWAYS TRYiN TO HOLLA We know who you are....Going to the mall to *try* to find your new boo, but in result, you get rejected. Ya'll are the ones that stalk the girls in the mall, sayin "Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.....PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST....AY!....AY GIRL!!" ...What in the world?! Stop "Psst"in at me!!! It's already annoying turning around every 10 seconds to see you walking right behind me! ...And then when I tell you I don't wanna talk to you, you gonna call me a B***H!! LOL

[16] THE N's THAT CAN'T KEEP THEiR MOUTH SHUT Why are you always talking?! Always up in other people's business!! Then you spread out their business including YOUR OWN!! ...I'mma need for you to get a L-I-F-E, instead of living in other people's lives! And while you are at it, glue your mouth SHUT!

[17] iNDECiSiVE N's Ya'll know who these dudes are!! The ones that try to talk to you and your best friend at the SAME TiME! And this dude would be even more LAME if he didn't even know ya'll were friends in the first place!! And then these are the same dudes that use the SAME PiCKUP LiNE on every girl!! I'mma need for you to get it together..

[18] LAME N's Why are you asking my friend about ME when you can talk to me YOURSELF! ..And this also goes for the dudes that get their HOMEBOYS to come talk to me FOR YOU! ....Grow some balls please!!

[19] THE "WHY YOU GOTTA TOUCH ME" N's Why do you feel that after 5 seconds of talking to me (literally) that you have to touch me?!?! Whether it is on my shoulder, my arm, my hand, or around my waist--you are STiLL touching me!! Get your nasty hands off me! I don't know where you have been! ..And this also includes ALL THE N'S IN THE CLUB THAT FEEL THAT THEY CAN TOUCH YOUR BUTT AS YOU WALK PAST THEM!!

[20] PiCKUP LiNE N's Why are you using those same, tired lines to try to holla at me!! And you always keep tellin me that I'm pretty/beautiful/sexy! I know that I am already, especially since I heard that from the LAST GUY that tried to talk to me! Shoot, compliment me on how beautiful my eyes are! ...I'mma need you to get out my face and learn how to be ORiGiNAL!

[21] THE "i WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER" N's Now, these are the dudes that look fine/sexy/cute! They are the ones that seem to "got it goin on". I know some of you have fell for these dudes, because they are the ones with that smooth game! They make you feel like you are the center of attention and they are the ones that say "I wanna know all about you". They ask you all the important questions of what your major is, what school you go to, where you are from, your likes, etc. ...You are soo caught up in the moment that you soon realize, he does NOT want to know all about who YOU are--He wants to know all about WHAT'S IN YOUR PANTS! We have PLENTY of these dudes walkin around thinkin it is CUTE to go talk to her, her, her, her, her best friend, her cousin, and her sister!! I sympathize with the girls who have fell for these types of dudes, because they make you feel like you're special and then after they had you, they THROW YOU IN THE DIRT! These also include the guys that, like Gucci Mane said, "Beat her like a dog, then pass her to [his] dog"! ...Now tell me WHERE on my body does it say E-A-S-Y?! Because I DEFINITELY AM a woman of CLASS, STANDARDS, and POISE! I am NOT one of those girls that have no MoRaLs or ValuEs that run around throwing themselves at dudes, because they are fine/sexy/cute! I am BETTER than that! ....SO WHAT if you have had many girls and your game is soooo "tight". From all that messing around, I hope your D**K FALLS OFF!! I hope you catch AIDS, Gonorrhea, Herpes, and/or Chlamydia, because that is what you DESERVE!

*EXHALE* I am glad to get that out of my system!
Thank you for your time! :D

-Opal Lee

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 3

2009-06-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that there was a trend that started in the early 2000s when it came to Hip Hop music. My friend called it the "ATL Movement". It all started with Dem Franchise Boys and their song "White Tee". After that song came out, there was a song about a black tee, pink tee, red tee, blue tee, etc. until the tees were all played out.

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 2

2009-06-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, I attended a cultural event at my school, entitled "Hip Hop, Misogyny, and Homophobia". It was a cultural event that was divided into two parts. On the first night, we watched the Byron Hurt documentary called "Beyond Beats and Rhymes". On the second night, Joan Morgan, author of the book, When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost, spoke to us about misogyny and how black women would be able to fight against that. Those two nights filled my heart with passion; I wanted to learn more about hip hop and how it affects the lifestyles of some African Americans today.

One of my best male friends told me that "Real music is timeless; it is not a fad". First I want to start with the history of Hip Hop (based from the website wikipedia *I know lol* and http://scaruffi.com/history/cpt417.html). Hip hop was started in the 1970s when they would have block parties in the Bronx, New York and in other poor suburbs, such as in Harlem, Queens, and Brooklyn. It was an evolution of Jamaica's dub music, in which the rapper would record his/her voice over a pre-recorded beat. One of the first rap records were the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight". Soon after, people began putting sociopolitical messages within their songs, such as in Grandmaster Flash's "The Message" (in which he talks about life in "the hood" and how he wonders how he can be so composed when the world around him is in so much chaos) and Public Enemy's "Fight The Power" (in which they talk against racism and white supremacy).

Hip Hop eventually crossed gender lines when MC Lyte came onto the scene. Other female artists soon started to follow suit, such as Queen Latifah with her song "Ladies First" (in which she talks about how great a woman is and that they should be praised). Other artists that entered the Hip Hop world, were De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, Ice T, Slick Rick, 2 Live Crew, etc.

Real Hip Hop Music...

1. "[Had] intricate rhythms...[that] was an affirmation of reality"

2. "Was about being a witness"

3. "Was about making storytelling as coldly factual as news reporting"

4. "Conceived art as chaos (of the urban environment)"

While I was talking to that same male friend, I asked him, "Why is it that in 2009, I am still listening to songs that came out in the 90s?" He simple stated, "Because they were creative, original, and consistent." When he said that, we had a 2 hour conversation about Hip Hop. We talked about a few artists and what made their music special and timeless: TLC, Dru Hill, Ginuwine, Jodeci, Tupac, and Destiny's Child. First, my friend told me that all of these artists were controversial. He said that people love controversy; they are drawn to it (like TMZ).
TLC: They were the first r&b girl group with a rapper. They were raw. They came out with "What About Your Friends" and "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" *where they wore crazy colors and condoms on their clothing*
Dru Hill: They had a special man named Sisqo. They had killer vocals and harmonies.
Ginuwine: He was very sexual in his songs, such as in "Pony" (a metaphor), and he would have no shirt on in his videos. He also had mad vocals.
Jodeci: They started the "Ooo yeah". And "Freakin' You" has got to be on everyone's list for a love-making song.

Tupac: He was a thug AND a poet. He did "Dear Mama", which is probably still played every Mother's Day. I also believe Tupac is so great for what he says in the song "Keep Your Head Up", because it is something that we STILL go through today (Misogyny, Rape, Domestic Violence, etc.): "And since we all came from a woman, got a name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies that make the babies. And since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one. So will the REAL men get up, I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up!"

Destiny's Child: They were crunk and they started the "independent women" movement.

He also stated how artists can use their music for different outlets. We talked about using music for art versus using it for money. If an artist uses their music as art, then they start movements; they change something and open doors for new artists to come through (window of opportunity). If an artist uses their music for money, then they aren't bringing anything new to the table; they are all talking about the same things (i.e. money, sex, drugs, violence).

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 1

2009-06-14T17:00:00.000-07:00

This is a strong title, but I have a massive story behind it. So much has been happening to me in such a short amount of time that I just need to vent it all out. I made sure to make everything connect. I'm connecting hip hop to me, my friends, the daily situations I go through, my family, and a recent situation that has changed my life.

Now, there is a certain stigma in relation to African Americans, stating that "Black People Don't Like to Read", well, I am going to make them read, because I see that African Americans now-a-days are stuck in a never-ending cycle, and I truly feel that if we continue to follow the path that we are on, we will not be in existence a century from now, because we would have already killed ourselves off! I want us to succeed as a race and not tear each other down at every chance we get. That's why we are stuck!

First, I would like to post an excerpt from my "Race and Ethnic Relations" paper (that I got an "A" on), in which my topic was on how the stereotypes of African Americans within the media (i.e. television, movies, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc.) contribute greatly to how the race identifies itself...

When I was in high school, I volunteered at the Salvation Army Boys and Girls Club during the summer and throughout the school year. I assisted the children in their social, cultural, and academic development. Although I was never paid for my countless hours of service, I have grown attached to my job; I enjoyed giving the affection, attention, and teachings to these low-income children who needed it to grow into intelligent men and women in this world. I felt that my presence in their lives have helped them to improve in some way, whether it was big or small. While volunteering with these children, there was something that I noticed. During the summer, I remember riding in the van with the children after attending one of our daily activities. The radio was on during our ride back to the institution; it was on a Hip Hop and R&B station. Throughout the whole ride, they sang and/or rapped the lyrics to every song that was played. I giggled the whole way through, but I was amazed at how these 5 and 6 year old kids knew the lyrics to all these songs that even I have not bothered to learn myself. I always wondered if they ever knew what they were saying when they rapped to “Ms. New Booty”. Although they knew the lyrics to these songs, I found that in the classroom, some of the children did not feel motivated to learn how to write simple sentences or even learn how to do basic math problems. I remember one child stating to me that he did not like writing sentences and he thought that it was stupid. Yet, they all think they know about the world around them, which is portrayed through the entertainment world of television.

Along with what I noticed about these young children, who are primarily African American, I noticed something with African American males. Within my town, the teenage males reflect some of what is expressed within current Hip Hop culture. Most of the males degrade women through the cat-calling and the inappropriate groping. They also use derogatory names for females, such as “bitches” and “hos”. Some of the males also sell or use drugs and do not take pride in their education, because they believe they can make it alright “in the streets”. Some males have dropped out of high school or have graduated, but never furthered their education. All these things are characteristics of what is being portrayed in the media when it comes to African American males, as if they are unable to be nothing more than a gangster, rapper, basketball player, pimp, or drug dealer.

Both these observations on African American children and males show that the stereotypical representations within the television media has an effect on what they value and how they make decisions with their lives. The media is poisoning the minds of the African American youth and it needs immediate reform. If there is no change, then it will be a never-ending cycle of living in an unhealthy, uneducated environment that hinders them from economically, socially, and politically advancing in society.

The first thing that triggered the stereotyping of African Americans was blackface performances, also known as minstrel shows. The minstrel shows were created during the 19th century and they were a form of entertainment for whites, in which they “reinforced pernicious racial stereotypes, legitimated racial subjugation, and permitted whites to openly mock and dehumanize African Americans” (Watkins, 2000, p. 76). The minstrel shows were performed by whites who mimicked blacks. They covered their faces with black make-up to present the impression of the skin color of African-Americans and with having large eyes and big lips. They portrayed blacks as being lazy, ignorant, joyful, and musical. This was entertaining for whites, because it reinforces white superiority (McElrath). It was also a form of racism, in which racism is defined as being intentional, obvious acts or attitudes that are rooted in individual prejudice.

Although Minstrelsy has declined during the 20th century, there has been a rebirth of stereotypes of African Americans through the largest area of the media: television. Television is viewed as an influential source of knowledge, and it helps to create viewers’ social truth. But throughout the shows, news, and commercials, stereotypes are formed, and it is identified as “cognitive structures that contain the perceiver’s knowledge, beliefs, and expectancies about some human group.” Stereotypes are not always negative, but when a dominant group controls the media, it can be destructive as to make people within minority groups feel inferior. The images that are formed within the media are, in fact, controlled by white decision makers. African Americans are represented frequently throughout many television programs, but there are portrayals of successful middle-class blacks versus the failure of lower-class blacks. On primetime television, successful blacks are portrayed as attractive and distinctive individuals who have achieved their goals through determination, discipline, talent, and hard work. On newscasts and documentaries, lower-class blacks are depicted as being involved with drugs, crime, and violence. The cultivation theory states that when a person watches television frequently, they are more likely to view these television portrayals as accurate and acceptable. A survey was conducted where Japanese international and White college students completed a questionnaire on what they thought of African Americans based on the television shows that they have seen. They then had to list adjectives of distinctive portrayals of African Americans. Some of the positive attributes the Japanese listed were “humorous”, “athletic”, “musical”, and “good looking”, while whites listed “intelligent”, “hard working”, “successful”, and “family oriented”. Some of the negative attributes the Japanese listed were “loud”, “uneducated”, “violent”, and “poor”, while whites listed “lazy”, “criminal”, and “gang-involved”. The effects of these stereotypes on African Americans are stronger for the Japanese students, because they lack direct contact with them, therefore they compensate by relying on these television portrayals. For the white students, these images may enhance their self and group worth, thus impacting whites’ views. Therefore, television plays a major role in constructing negative stereotypes of African Americans, but if there were a variety of positive qualities, it could greatly reduce the use of those stereotypes (Fujioka, 1999).

Most television news castings create specific portrayals of black men and women when it comes to violence and crime. Meyers (2004) states that “black men and women are…over-represented as criminals [and] under-represented as victims” (p. 97). Black feminist theorists believe that white and male supremacist ideologies are present when black women are stereotyped, which includes “the sexually promiscuous black woman…the mammie and the welfare cheat, as well as the overachieving ‘black lady’ who emasculates the black males in her life” (Meyers, 2004, p. 97). The news also holds women responsible for their own victimization without blaming the actual attacker; the public mostly does not sympathize with black females in terms of rape cases, because they were historically viewed as whores. You can notice this through a follow-up news story that aired in 1996, which concluded the weekend party event called “Freaknik”. The video opened up with a young, white male seated in a car and complaining about how he was unhappy with the event. Then, the video cuts to a black woman holding her clothing across her chest while passing by a group of men. The voice-over throughout the video stated, “From the motorists who were stripped of their rights, to the women who were stripped of their clothes, the fallout from Freaknik ’96 still hangs like a mushroom cloud of anger over the city” (Meyers, 2004, p. 111). This story has equated a motorists’ disapproval to women whose clothes were ripped off their bodies; thus denying the importance and criminality of this form of violence. By portraying that young lady as the “sexually promiscuous” black woman, the news has justified her abuse. The news denied that men had sexually assaulted or raped women, but local males were arrested for fighting, stealing, and for the possession of weapons. Thus, the news held men accountable for crimes that included property, but not for the abuse of black women; the property was more important than a black woman’s safety (Meyers, 2004).

The use of negative stereotypes within the media affects how others view the ethnic group, therefore treating them by how they are portrayed. They also affect the ethnic groups that are being stereotyped; such as how a young, black male may think it is cool to sell drugs because they have seen it on television or how black men may think it is “acceptable” to mistreat a female since the media has not opposed it. If we can rectify this issue, then our society will be able to accept all races and judge a person by their character and not their race and African Americans can get out of that never-ending cycle.
Fujioka, Y. (1999). Television Portrayals and African-American Stereotypes: Examination of Television Effects When Direct Contact is Lacking. Journalism & Mass Communication Quarterly, 76(1), 52-75.

McElrath, J. A Look Back at Minstrelsy. About.com. Retrieved November 19, 2008, from: http://afroamhistory.about.com/od/minstrelsy/a/minstrelsy.htm

Meyers, M. (2004, June). African American Women and Violence: Gender, Race, and Class in the News. Critical Studies in Media Communication, 21(2), 95-118.

Watkins, C. S. (2000, January/February). Raising Cain: Blackface Performance from Jim Crow to Hip Hop. Society, 37(1), 76-77.

The End of the Semester

2009-04-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Wow. Time has flown by so fast! It seems like just yesterday that I was getting off of Christmas break, and now it is almost summer! This semester has been a big learning experience for me. And this blog has helped me in achieving that. I started this blog as a requirement for my social work class. I never really thought of blogging and the real importance of it, but I now view blogging as an essential part to expressing my ideas, thoughts, and opinions, and--most importantly--finding myself.

During this semester, I also realized how much I am capable of when it comes to making a difference in my community through my volunteering experience. I will continue to volunteer next semester, because it makes me feel complete when I know that I am contributing to the well-being of someone else's life. And I think that is the importance of Social Work, because we promote the well-being of other people. We are not selfish people and we are an important component within society. I don't think it matters how much a social worker gets paid, because life is not about money. Life is about finding your true purpose and living a happy life where you feel complete and you are not lost in a web.

I thank my professor, Mr. Kellin, for opening up my mind to new things. I have enjoyed my introductory Social Work courses and I will continue to be the best I can be. I also will continue to write in this blog to express my feelings in hopes of reaching others and gaining new perspectives from other people.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Disabilities

2009-04-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

In our class the other day, we talked about disabilities (in general). Our teacher told us that disabilities are 50% biology and 50% adaptation. When people think of a person who is disabled, we think that they aren't able to do anything at all, but there are different variations to a disability.

I know I have seen some stories on television (like on disney channel) where a girl had no arms and legs (i think that was it), but she was able to swim extremely well; probably even better than I can. But although she has this disability, it doesn't mean that she isn't capable of doing things for herself.

I also saw another story where a boy didn't have legs below his knees, but he got prosthetic legs, in which he used to run marathons. Even though he doesn't have his full legs, that does not mean that he isn't capable of walking around.

Also, when I think of disabilities, I think of Ray Charles. He was completely blind, but he was very independent and was a fantastic musician! Just because he was blind, that doesn't meant that he can't be aware of his surroundings.

The level of functioning, which is separated between the two poles of inconvenience and disability, should be measure in capacity (i.e. capacity vs. what they can do). If we can measure this, then we wouldn't have to classify people as disabled and treat them as they are nothing, when they are capable of achieving things.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Hospice

2009-04-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

For my other Social Work class, I had to do 80 hours of volunteer service. I chose to do mine at Hospice and Community Care. This organization provides emotional, physical, social, and spiritual care to patients who are dealing with a terminal illness (that would only allow them 6 months or less to live) and they provide care to the patients' families as well. Hospice views dying as a natural process that occurs within our lives, therefore they do not try to postpone or hasten the dying process; they cherish the quality of life and they provide comfort to the patients on their last days on earth. Today I finished my 80 hours at Hospice and Community Care. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I worked in the office doing clerical work (such as calling agencies, assisting with data entry and mailing, and organizing files) and on Fridays, I would work in their Resale Shop (where people would donate their unwanted clothes or items, which in turn gets sold for low prices). I learned alot from this experience. I learned how to be a patient, responsible, mature, professional, and flexible person. I also learned how to be open to new kinds of people and ideas. Although, this was a good experience for me, I really wanted to work directly with patients, but I guess I had to start small to learn the true purpose of hospice care in order to move up to working directly with patients. Though, a couple weeks ago, my coordinator did take me to a nursing home to meet some of the patients that are in the transitions program (which prepares patients, who have 12 months or less to live, for hospice care). It was an enlightening experience to see how the patients are living and how to communicate with those who have dementia (and I forgot to mention that through Hospice, I attended training classes to receive my license to work with patients who have dementia).

Since I have already established relationships with the people that work at Hospice and Community Care, I plan on continuing to volunteer there in hopes that I will learn more about the elderly, hospice, and how to care for patients in nursing homes. I hope that this experience will better prepare me to be able to become a Medical Social Worker in the future.

Sincerely,
Opal Lee

Head Start Part 2

2009-04-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today, I went back to Head Start after being away from them for about a week and a half. I enjoyed myself today! I can honestly say that they really do brighten my day.

When I entered the room, I was warmly greeted by the children. They were working on a small project, and after they were done, I decided to see how they were doing. I asked my special friend (we will call her Sasha) what she did for her Spring Break, and she said she watched TV. I asked her what she watched and she said, "Dora!" It was too cute! Then Sasha wanted me to read her a story, like how we read last time I was in their classroom. Unfortunately, but fortunately, we were unable to, because we had to go outside. While we were outside, Sasha went on the swings and she asked me to push her. Of course, when I pushed one, I had to push all of the kids. They enjoyed themselves, swinging higher and higher. After playing outside, I took the girls to the bathroom to wash their hands. We then went to lunch. Sasha was eager to sit beside me, so she waited for me to finish sharing the food, so that wherever I sat, she will sit. As we ate, she would ask me questions, like what my father and mother's name was. I also had my camera in my hand and she said (in exact words), "My mommy takes me to Warmar to take pictures!" That made me giggle. Children say such the simplest things, but it can be so funny! When it was time for me to go, I told the children goodbye. Sasha came up to me and gave me a hug and waved goodbye to me. Another girl told me that she will miss me. I told her I will miss her too and gave her a hug goodbye.

I honestly do feel that I have an impact on them. And they have an impact in my life too. I definitely want to go back and volunteer with them next semester.

From this day's experience, I realize that these children want love and attention. Most of them do not receive that at home, which leaves that responsibility up to the people that work at Head Start. And sometimes, the teachers may not be able to give all the individual children the special attention that they need, which makes my position as an assistant even more important, because I get to understand the children on a one-on-one level.

Sincerely,
Opal Lee

Head Start

2009-04-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

For my social work class, we had to complete 5 hours of volunteer work. I chose to do my volunteering at Head Start. Head Start is operated by non-profit organizations, in which it is a program designed for low-income children between the ages of three and five. At Head Start, they provide children with activities that will help promote their growth (physically, mentally, and socially), so that they are well-prepared to enter kindergarten.

When I went to Head Start, I analyzed the children and how they perform throughout their daily routines. I initially fell in love with them! They are all so diverse, and each of them are special in their own little way. One girl loves to tell me stories and ask me questions. Another girl, who was not originally in the class I volunteered with, always smiles at me and speaks to me (so adorable!!). And the boys are just as friendly too!

I was not planning to continue volunteering there after I finished my hours, but when it was my "last day", I told the children that I had to leave them. Then, one boy asked me if I was coming back. Then two more kids came up to me and asked me the same thing. Then, about three more joined in. I told them I did not know when I was coming back, and I asked them, "Do you want me to come back?" And they all chimed in, "Yes, Ms. Opal!!" That just filled my heart with joy..Then I realized something..From the short time that I was with them, I felt that I have made an impact in their lives. I just can't leave them! I feel that it is my duty to stay with them and help them to continue to grow.

Since then, I've been going when I have free time (which is limited to about an hour and a half, two days a week) for the past two months. I've gotten to know the staff members, the way Head Start works, the children, and some of the children's backgrounds (i.e. life at home). I enjoy every minute that I spend with them. There are some children that do act out, but when you look at it, they really want love and attention (and it can also be a reaction/reflection to the things that go on within their homes).

This past week, the children have been on Spring Break. And Gosh! I have missed seeing their faces! Well, tomorrow, I get to see them, and I'm excited.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Sexual Assault Awareness

2009-04-13T21:28:00.000-07:00

Soo. I recently found out that the month of April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, in which the goal is to raise awareness to communities (primarily) about sexual assault and rape, and to help prevent sexual violence. This is a time when those who have been sexually abused can talk about their experiences, thus helping them to overcome that invisible burden.

Sadly, I am burdened almost everyday...I have never openly expressed the moments where I have been abused/assaulted by men..I hold all of those bad experiences deep inside...And it sometimes tears me apart when I am by myself in my room. It's so hard living with this pain!! And I don't think anyone can really understand the pain a person who has been sexually abused goes through, unless they have been sexually abused themselves. It is like a hole exists within my heart that cannot seem to be replaced. Have you ever felt like you are missing something and you don't know what it is? Well, I feel like that a lot.

When I was a freshman in my Psychology class, our professor stated that people who are sexually abused victims sometimes tend to be more sexual people. That statistic caught me by surprise. Therefore, I tried to find more hard evidence of whether this is true. Although it may not be rooted in actual statistics, I found a quote from an article on HubPages.com, titled "Sex After Rape: Victims' Coping Tactics", in which it states, "Promiscuity is also a common response to abuse [or a brutal rape]. Girls who grow up equating their self-esteem with allowing men to "have them" sexually often repeat this pattern as adults. It's what they know."

I feel bad saying this, but I do fit that statistic. Before I was raped, I never engaged in any sexual activities with anyone..But for some reason, afterwards (not necessarily right after, but maybe about a little over a year), I started engaging in sexual activities with guys that I knew I would never be with, yet I did it anyways, because it seemed to satisfy me in that moment. Before I do those things, I feel this empty feeling in my heart; I want to feel loved and secure. I want affection. Then, right after I have satisfied my desires, I feel happy. But about 2 days later, I feel guilty for having done what I have done with whoever I have done it with. I feel like I am using the guy to feel satisfied, yet I'm the one that ends up being used. It's like I'm trying to fill this emptiness, but it ends up creating an even bigger hole in my heart. I see and understand my problem, but I just don't know how to fix it! When my emotions of lonliness and emptiness overcome me, I want someone (of the equivalent of a male companion) right there beside me making me feel better, so that I no longer have to feel that lonliness and emptiness....It is a horrible feeling...I always look back upon the bad things that have happened to me, how I have been treated by men, and my guilty feelings as the outcome of spontaneous sexscapades...It's like I am lost. I just wish someone would find me.

I don't know if having a significant other would mend the hole in my heart or if I should try to mend it myself through soul-searching and building upon my values....I remember talking with my brother and he told me that maybe the communication problems that exist between my father and I contribute greatly to what I'm going through, because a woman's relationship with her father is the primary relationship that exists between a woman and a man. I don't know which road to take, but I am willing to take all of them, because I am tired of feeling like the victim, feeling empty, feeling guilty, and getting hurt.

I am going to use this month, Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, as a time to build upon myself, my values, and my relationship with my father, so that I can be a confident, stronger, and guilt-less woman.

"Old People"

2009-04-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

In class, we talked about the elderly. Our professor provided us with a couple of statistics. 1) If a person is 75 and older and they are female, then they have a 50% chance of living alone. 2) In 1900, 4% of people were 65 and older. Now, it is 14%, because we have improved our medicine and nutrition. 3) People are beginning to live as old as 120. For number 1, I see that the statistic can be true, because it is believed that women can live longer than men, which may force them to live alone without their husbands. For number 2 and 3, I think that it is a blessing that we have improved our medicines and nutrition, because we want people to live healthy lives and live their lives to the fullest, in which I also view it as a blessing from God that a person can live to be 120 years old.

We also sat back and had to ask the following questions (that may not really have direct answers): 1) How old is old? 2) What is aging? 3) Which is more important: the quality or the quantity of a person's life. 4) What is the purpose of a person 65 years of age and over? For number 1, our social work book states that old age is not determined by hold long we have lived on earth, which leads to the definition of number 2: aging is an individual process that occurs at different rates for different people. The signs of aging include they thinning and graying of hair, the appearance of wrinkles, and shortened posture. But there are alot of factors (physical, psychological, etc.) that speed up or slow the process of aging. For number 3, I think that the quality of a person's life is important, because we wouldn't want a person to live in suffering, but if a person is living a long life and they are suffering from one or more illnesses, it would be wrong to say, "let's take their life, because they are suffering"--then that would mean that we are "murderers", because we took an innocent person's life. For number 4, I feel that a person over 65 years of age should be able to enjoy their last years in happiness. They are also there to spread their wisdom amongst the younger generations. I also think that if they are capable, they can take on small jobs within their communities that may be overlooked to other people. I also feel that the elderly should be respected instead of viewed as "dead weight" to society.

Some other issues that arise for senior citizens are health problems (which is most focused on), low status (being treated as they are not worth anything), emphasis on youth, financial problems, loss of family, crime victims, and depression.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

What is this thing we call "Racism"?

2009-03-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

In class, we talked about RaCiSm. Our class was interesting, because it was a new experience for me to hear the other students' views (especially with most of them being white, because I've never really had an open discussion with white people about racism, except in my Race and Ethic Relations class, in which the whites weren't as vocal compared to the blacks in the classroom).
A race is a category of people that share biological traits that members of society consider important. It is a social relationship between groups, individuals, and society. The idea of race came out of the need to differentiate types of people, such as that some people are less human than others. It wasn't until the Europeans migrated that they started to identify themselves as "white".
Now, people use the terms racism, prejudice, and discrimination interchangeably, in which they all have completely different meanings.
I would like to define what each term means and provide a more in-depth understanding of what it means, in which I will be getting most of my information from my Sociology class along with what I learned in Social Work class.

1. Racism is a cultural concept and not biological. It is a social grouping (stereotyping) based on concepts we deem as important.

2. Prejudice is an opinion about a certain individual, group of people, or a phenomenon that is created without proof or systematic evidence.

3. Discrimination is the prejudgment and negative treatment of people based on identifiable characteristics, such as race, gender, religion, or ethnicity.

Racism involves cultural messages, institutional policies and practices, and the beliefs and actions of individuals. With racist individuals, it is understood that they use intentional, obvious acts or attitudes againsts others that are rooted in individual prejudice. Racism also includes continuing patterns of exclusion, which means that they can be intentional or unintentional, obvious or very subtle, and it is rooted in U.S. cultural practices and social institutions. Racism can continue if there is an unwillingness to challenge these racialized institutions and patterns.

Prejudice and discrimination do go hand-in-hand, but under these two categories, there are four types of people that are formed.

1. The non-prejudiced non-discriminator: "All weather liberal". It includes activists and passive racists (those who see and not do anything).
2. The non-prejudiced discriminator: "Fair weather liberal". They feel conflict, will discrimminate in a social pressure situation, but they feel guilty (i.e. "I'm not racist, but...")
3. The prejudiced non-discriminator: "Timid bigot". They believe stereotypes and feel hostility but don't act on them due to laws.
4. The prejudiced discriminator: "Active bigot". They discriminate openly and will not apologize for their actions.

The idea of race affects us in our daily lives. White Americans take race as a given (something to not be worried about). They do not believe in their privilege, because it seems natural to them....until they are the only white in a room. Race is not a thing of the past, because racial inequalities still exist; it encompasses power and privilege that has been rooted in our American society.

I feel that we all shouldn't put the issue of racism under the rug and pretend that it does not exist. We need to study the causes and consequences of racial inequalities and work towards positive change. If we can tackle these issues, I can truly say that we will be able to live in a colorblind society.

Sincerely,
Opal Lee

Employment

2009-03-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

In our class, we talked about work. Why do we work? And how do we view people who don't work?

In the "olden" days, work was considered a religious commitment; the Puritans worked everyday and worshipped on Sunday, because that is what was expected. This is known as the Protestant work ethic. In the early 1900s, 27% of our jobs were in production, but now, only 2% is in production. There are more jobs in management, because we don't produce our own goods (we let people overseas produce the goods we use, because it is cheaper. That's why we see the labels "Made in China", "Made in Taiwan", etc.).

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Education

2009-03-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

In class, we learned some shocking statistics/facts that are related to education.

1. Children are being taught new ways on how to solve problems (such as with math).
2. There has been a recent increase in budget cuts, which results in a increase in class sizes.
3. Children who are in Head Start programs and those who are not end up at the same level when they enter kindergarten.
4. 30 percent of the people who graduate high school go to college. 10 percent of those move forward to get graduate degrees.
5. 20 percent of United States' citizens are illiterate. 51 percent of U.S. citizens (which includes the 20 percent) can not read above a fifth grade level (i.e. three syllable words or more). Illiteracy also is irrelevant to income level.

Family

2009-03-04T20:38:00.000-08:00

What is a family?

It is defined as a group of people who are affiliated with each other by a common ancestry. But when we think of family, we think of people who are blood-related that love each other unconditionally and lift each other up when they down. No matter what is going on or how busy they may be, they will always be there for you.

At the turn of the century, families tended to be large with the parents and about 7 or more kids living in one household, and sometimes the extended family were included. The reason why families were this large was because they needed extra labor, since machinery did not exist around that time period. In this time period, there is no significant need to have that many children, because instead of them being an investment, it is not a cost have children. The average amount of children a family may have now is about 2 or 3. Also, when child labor laws were implemented around The Great Depression era, teenagers had nothing else to do, therefore school hours were increased.

Another aspect of the family includes the concept of marriage, in which two people who are supposedly in love each other are joined to live their lives together as one. Back then, marriage signified "adulthood". Girls got married at the age of 13, which is around the same time when she would start puberty. Now, since teenagers are supposed to stay in school later, people are getting married at a later age.

Although marriage is a bond that is deemed to last forever, the United States currently has a divorce rate of about 50%. A marriage that ends in divorce breaks the ideal vision of what a family should be; it creates complication. Some people may think that this occurred do to a rise in feminism. Before the 1960s, women were perceived as being home-bodies, in which they cooked, cleaned, and cared for the children. During the Women's Liberation Movement, women wanted to be able to take more control of their lives and not be treated as being below a man, in terms of social, economic, and political stature. When women became more accepted in society as being "equal" to a man, they were granted more freedom. This may have resulted in higher divorce rates, because most husbands probably could not deal with a woman who would not take orders from him, since she had the freedom to do whatever she wanted and was more independent.

Though, that may have been the reason for high divorce rates years ago, but I do not feel that it applies to today, because we have widely accepted women as strong, independent, and having more to contribute to society than just being in the household. I do have a couple theories on why the divorce rates are high, but they are not statistically based...

1) Some people are getting married for the wrong reasons, such as an unplanned pregnancy.

2) Some people are getting married as a "spur of the moment" decision, therefore they have not had time to enjoy the world and learn more about themselves, so that they will be able to find someone that makes their lives complete.

3) Some people may think that they are in love with a person (reference to number 2), but they may eventually find someone that satisfies their needs more (thus leading to infidelity).

Before a person enters into a marriage, they have to be established within their lives: socially, mentally, economically, and spiritually. They have to love themselves before they can fully devote their love to someone else. They also need to have a clear understanding in what they are looking for in a significant other, therefore they wouldn't have to run into any problems, such as with clashing personalities. They need someone that completes them: their strengths are your weaknesses and vice versa.

I found a quote from everystudent.com that fully expresses the concept of marriage (and it also is a quote that I agree with). Why do people get married?

"The truth is that no one wants to be alone. Although we make a big deal out of "doing our own thing" and insisting on individual rights, we all long for the security and warmth of an intimate relationship with someone who is crazy about us. We may say we "want to be alone" and desire "some space," but our stronger desire is to share some space with someone who loves us. And although sexual attraction is an important part of our desire for intimacy, these longings to connect deeply with another person are not just about sex. This fervent desire to be known and appreciated by someone else is how we were designed in the first place."

This ties back into the definition of what a family is supposed to be: having someone that is there for you no matter what and loves you unconditionally.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Sexual Abuse

2009-02-25T23:13:00.000-08:00

For my Social Work class, we had to do a podcast on a social issue. I chose to do mine on sexual abuse. Our podcast had to be about 15 minutes long...I ended up doing mine for about 22 minutes! I guess you can say, I got into it. I wanted to post my podcast on here (it's in video format), but the file is a bit large. So, I am going to type up everything I talked about in the podcast into this blog.

Sexual abuse is defined as the forcing of undesired sexual acts by one person upon another. There are many types of sexual abuse, but I would like to highlight four that I felt are important:

1. Sexual Assault: Unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling.

2. Rape: Forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Penetration may be a body part or an object. Rape victims may be forced through threat or physical means. About 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapons are used other than physical force. Anyone can be a rape victim: men, women, straight, or gay.

3. Child Sexual Abuse: Sexual contact by force, trickery, or bribery where there is an imbalance in age, size, power, or knowledge. Contact for sexual abuse can include fondling, obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, masturbation, intercourse, oral or anal sex, prostitution, pornography, and any other sexual conduct that is harmful to a child's mental, emotional, or physical welfare.

4. Sexual Harassment: Unwelcomed sexual advances, request for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature in which submission to or rejection of such conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's work or school performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work or school environment.

Here are some statistics that I found from the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN):

About Victims: 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime. College age women are 4 times more likely to be sexually assaulted. In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault (every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted).

Reporting to the police: 60% of sexual assaults are not reported. Though, reporting has increased by one-third since 1993.

About rapists: Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailant. Only 60% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

The effects of rape or sexual abuse are as follows:

The victims of sexual assault are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, 26 times more likely to abuse drugs, and 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

One person that I felt would represent victims of sexual abuse is Erin Merryn. My teacher, Dr. Kellin, introduced her situation to our Social Work class a couple weeks ago; he showed us her blog and a video of one of her speeches. Erin Merryn is a young woman who at age 11 suffered sexual abuse at the hands of her cousin. She also was molested when she was younger, but she was more affected by the abuse she suffered from her cousin. She wrote about her experiences in her diary which detailed her abuse, recovery, and reconciliation. It was published in her book, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing over a childhood broken by abuse. She has now become a crusader for sexual abuse victims and she actively encourages others to speak out on their own victimization.

Erin Merryn also has a blog. While I was going through one of her first couple entries, I found a quote that seemed to touch me....

"I wanted to reach those who had not found their voice and help people begin healing. More than anything after being silenced in my life, I wanted my voice to be heard and I knew I had nothing to be ashamed of. I was not going to allow the dirty disturbing things that went on behind closed doors to allow me to stay hushed. I decided to let the world read the pain I endured and I put the flashing images that have played over and over in my head poured out in a journal into a book. It was a process in allowing my silence to be shattered and my voice to be heard. Writing is my outlet. It always has been my way of expressing what I verbally could never say."

I can relate to Erin Merryn, because I am a victim of rape. I may not tell everybody that all the time. It is only close people that know that of me (and now I'm expressing it in this blog, because I am comfortable expressing my feelings. It helps to make me stronger). It happened when I was 14 years old and I was going on vacation over the summer with my mom. One day, I was spending time with my cousin and his friends. We happened to go to his friend's house, which was when I decided to use the bathroom. I locked the bathroom door, but somehow the door was opened on me, and it was two of my cousin's friends (ex now) pulling me out of the door and beginning to take my clothes off. I tried to defend myself, but these guys were older and stronger than me. They pushed me into the closet and held me down. I was screaming, but the closet door was closed, which was also located within a master bedroom (in which that door was locked by them also). Therefore, my cousin was not able to come help me, though I was screaming and kicking hard. After that happened, I felt like it was my fault. I didn't initially say anything to my parents, because I felt guilty. I felt like nothing. I felt like I could hide it and maybe I could get over it and be okay. But after that day, I couldn't seem to get it out of my mind. Something was wrong. I wanted to put it back there, but it hit me. I was raped. I am a victim...Of course, when I told my parents, they were traumatized--it was horrible. But I was then able to get help. But even then, I was still suffering on the inside. Though, like Erin Merryn with how she found her voice through writing, i found mine the same way. I was unable to tell somebody how I was feeling, so I began to write poetry. The first poem that I wrote was on November 22, 2004. And the incident happened in early June, and even in November, I was still in pain...The poem is called The Black Hole.

The emptiness inside of me

It yearns for something more

Some warmth, some love, or some hero that can save me...

Save me from my lonliness!

Save me from my emptimness!

Save me from this black hole that sucks the life out of me...

Who may this hero be?

Oh, I wish I knew

For everyday I fall back into the hole of darkness..

But noone comes...

Can't they see that I need help?

Take me out of this lonely place!

They only overlook me--thinking I may get out on my own...

It's hard when the gravity pulls you down and you have nothing to clutch on to...

Nobody to hold my hand...

What is the gravity that sucks me away?

Lonliness..Family..Self-doubt..Rumors..RAPE!!

Someone HOLD ME! SAVE ME! IT'S TEARING ME APART!

My heart is racing and I cannot breathe...

Don't you care? Care about me?

Or maybe you're blind and cannot see...

It's hurting me...

Where is my hero?

Why won't he save me?

Save me from the emptiness..the lonliness..the lies..

Save me from those boys that hurt me physically and emotionally..

God..Why?

You say things happen for a reason..

WHAT'S THE REASON?!

Was the reason supposed to make me fall deeper into this lonely hole?

Please let me know..

Where is my hero?

When will he come?

Come and save...

Save me..

Save me from this black hole ETERNALLY!!

I beg of you..

I'm slipping..

I'm falling..

I'm wasting away...

That is how I felt. After the incident, there was never a day that I didn't think about. Everyday I felt like there was a part of me missing; like there was a black hole in my heart. I didn't know how to get through it. But, of course, through months of therapy, I was able to learn how to love myself and give love to other people. I also learned how to become a stronger person and how to express the feelings that I am unable to express to people through writing, just like Erin Merryn. I also have another quote that she wrote in her first blog...

"Healing from sexual abuse is a lifetime process. It never ends. You work through different stages in your life and continue to move forward. Everyone is in control of their own happiness. I look at it as I am not going to allow people who have hurt me to take my happiness from me, but I have also learned a lesson in working through everything or else it will come back to haunt you."

And like she did, I learned how to control my happiness. And it is a process, you need to learn how to face that fear and overcome it. I may not think about me getting raped everyday, but that is something that has been ingrained in me. My innocence was taken away from me.

Also, along with being a victim of rape. I was a victim of sexual harassment, which happened in high school. After I was raped and had grown stronger within myself, I was broken down again. One day at school, it was normal. I had a girl friend that came up to me and told me that there was a rumor about me going around school. I did not know, because I felt like everything was normal. She told me that the rumor was that I performed oral sex to the whole football team. How did that get out? I do not know. I didn't even know everybody on the whole football team either! So that was a lie. But, gossip spreads like fire, and it soon got around the whole school that I had done this, and it probably even got worse along the way (that's how gossip is). After hearing that, I continued to go throughout my day like it was normal; I tried to keep my positivity. But for the next couple of days, I started getting attention from guys, but it was not anything positive. When I would be walking through the hallways. random guys would pass by me and say to me "When are you going to give me head?" (which is the derogatory term). It was like that almost everyday...Being harassed by guys, touching me inappropriately as I'm walking through the halls. I can remember going in the bathroom and crying my eyes out, wondering why does this have to happen to me. I can remember walking through the most populated part of the school (the cafeteria) and having groups of guys snickering at me, laughing at me, cat-calling at me while I'm walking by. I could never handle it. My self-esteem broke down so low. So low that I even resorted to cutting myself, although I did not do it, but I had the urge to do it. I also remember a guy saying openly in front of a lot of people "Oo! That girl is NASTY!" And this was all over a rumor! But I was being harassed for it everyday... I was also being harassed by the basketball team. I reported it to the coach, but she flipped it on me and made it seem like it was my fault that I'm getting this negative attention from guys. She did not do anything about it. I had to go through it all. It happened at the beginning of my junior year and it fully subsided by the end of my senior year. It was horrible!! Nothing was ever done about it, but I learned to be strong within myself and not let anyone else bring me down.

Thus, leading me to my conclusion...

I feel that there is no way to abruptly stop sexual abuse, but I do feel that everybody can work on prevention through education. For children, I feel that parents need to teach them the differentiation between "good touch" and "bad touch", and the children need to be able to feel comfortable with opening up to their parents or someone that they deeply trust. This leads to parents being that open door for their children. I never felt comfortable with talking to my parents about sex until I came to college. Since then, I am able to talk to my parents about anything. You don't need to not feel comfortable with talking to your parents, because they brought you into this world and they love you unconditionally (unless under other circumstances). For women, I feel that there needs to be more established programs on building self-esteem. If women are stronger within themselves, they can overcome any kind of sexual abuse instead of letting things roll by. If I had higher self-esteem in high school (when it came to dealing with the sexual harassment), I would not have been so destructive mentally and emotionally. I would have been strong enough to stand up for myself and let those guys know that I'm not what they think I am and I'm not to be played with. And for anyone who has been sexually abuse, I think they need to feel comfortable in reporting their abuse to others. There is no need to be criticized by others, because they should be commended for their efforts on reporting sexual abuse. They could be saving someone else's life from suffering the same fate that they have went through, thus stopping the cycle.

Lastly, I want to say that it is all about courage and being strong within yourself. Once you are, you can truly achieve happiness in life. Thank You.

That concludes my podcast. I hope you enjoyed it or may have learned something new.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Poverty

2009-02-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

In our last Social Work class, we talked more in depth on the issue of poverty.

We learned that poverty is not all about money, but it is about knowing how to utilize your resources. It also tends to be a never-ending cycle.

There is a poor family with young children, which results in living with sub-standard conditions.
This leads to the children having a disinterest in school, because they are focused on other issues that are home-related. (The cycle is also short-circuited, because adolescent females become a single parent, thus restarting the cycle).
The children may then eventually drop out of school and obtain a low-paying job to help out the family or by getting married. This locks them in to poverty.
Getting married also increases expenses, thus limiting educational training. They may also have children, which increases the expenses even more, thus locking them into poverty and restarting the cycle.

It seems so easy to say, "Just break the cycle!" but it takes action and a change of attitude on those who are in poverty. When the government keeps contributing money to those who meet the requirements of being impoverished, the people in poverty may not try to improve their lives by making more money, because they lose government contribution; thus making it harder for them to provide for themselves. In order for the people in poverty to become successful, they need to have an education (i.e. college degree), but it takes money that they do not have and determination to receive that education.

It is so hard to find a solution for poverty, because this question is always asked, "Where do we start?" Should we invest in programs that provide food and money for those in poverty and hope that they will bounce back on their feet? Should we invest in educating those who are in poverty on how to deal with this demanding society? Or should we invest in providing more jobs, so that those in poverty would be able to make more money to provide for themselves?

The issue is complicated!

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

I Can Smell It

2009-01-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

$$$ MONEY $$$

Our society is fueled by money. Nothing is free. Everything you do is at cost to you or someone else. There are alot of things that I take for granted right now: the lights that are powered within my residence hall, the high-speed internet connection that I use to constantly check my messages and type this blog, the heat that keeps me warm at night..Yeah. It seems like I'm living the good life, but my mother DEFINITELY had to pay for me to live in my residence hall and for me to attend school.

But, besides that...Every second, every minute, and every hour, money is being made and spent. Like they say, "Time is money!!" But, what happens when your time is just lingering in empty space and nothing ever seems to move forward, but your living your life backwards?

In my second social work lecture. We talked about poverty...There are many factors that can cause poverty, such as...

The family of the person in poverty may have been unable or unwilling to help provide for the person (i.e. neglect)
The person in poverty may not be well-educated, therefore resulting in the inability to get a "good" or "stable" job in this ever-changing economy. And they also may not have the money to pay for higher education.
There could be a lack of jobs/opportunity available. Even professionals are being laid off of their jobs, so it would probably be harder for a person in poverty to be able to find a job.
The person could be living in a place where there is no opportunity available. And they also may not have the money to move to another place where there may be more opportunity available.
The person could be living a certain lifestyle (i.e. an alcoholic or a person addicted to drugs) which hinders their ability to move forward with their lives.

But we always talk about: "We should eliminate poverty"...But it tends to be all talk, but no real action. Some people believe that people who are in poverty are in that position because they are lazy and are not willing to move out of that position to make a difference in their lives (this is a conservative view). Yet, there are other people who realize that the world is tough and society is moving forward, but tends to leave the "weak" behind; these people believe that those who are in poverty should be allowed to receive a "helping hand" (this is a liberal view). Therefore there seems to be two solutions to the issue of poverty: Let those in poverty get help from an institution/the government or letting them help themselves. Although these are two good solutions, it seems to be just a black/white view. I tend to see things in a "gray area". Effort should be made on both sides. The government or an institution/program should be willing to provide services and opportunities for the poor, but--at the same time--those in poverty should learn how to get on their feet and have the determination to move forward with their lives. Everyone needs somebody to lean on. I doubt that someone is ever that strong to do everything by themselves without any help from outside people.

I found this part of the lecture to be interesting. I also was able to see the value of what Social Workers do within our communities, and how they are there to better other people's lives...And speaking of money, in pertinence to Social Work, people say that they may not make alot of money. But I do feel that life is not all about the money. Knowing that you are improving someone else's life is a rewarding experience, therefore you can achieve true happiness and live a life that is purposeful. Although money fuels this economy, money and materialistic things can not make a person happy.

A woman can get her hair and nails done every two weeks and be able to buy those nice pair of heels to match that dress they bought the other day. But after having all those things, does this improve anything of her inner being? She could still be unsatisfied with life..Money never equals happiness.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

My First Social Work Lecture

2009-01-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

Suicide...

This was the topic for my first social work class. I was not expecting something this deep to be presented to me so soon. But of course, I could not just leave class; I had to endure this lesson...

Suicide is the eleventh most common death in the United States. It is also the second lead cause of death among college students. There are over 32,000 suicide deaths a year.

And the question we always ask is....Why? Why would people want to end their lives? Why should they leave this beautiful Earth that we live in? Why couldn't they just put their feelings aside and just move on with their lives? Why? Why? Why?...But it's not that easy. Sometimes people feel like there is no other way out. They are trapped. Lost souls in a world that seems to move on without them. They don't know where to go. They feel like nobody cares. They have given up. They do not know how to solve the problem(s) that are laid out in front of them. They feel like there is no hope. Happiness fades to sadness. Sadness transforms to lonliness. Lonliness evolves into depression. They soon think: "Why do I have to sit here feeling like this, when I could just end it all now?" "I just can't live in this world." "I don't want to see another day." "I want to disappear."

As I sat through today's lesson. I was on the brink of tears. The only thing that kept me together was that I didn't want my classmates to think something was wrong with me. I wanted to be strong...But on the inside, something was wrong. I was reminiscing, because I once was a lost soul. I was once feeling like there was no way out. I felt noone loved me. I felt alone. I could not stand living. I wanted to just die. I remember writing this poem (this is only part of the poem)....

Am I really what I'm supposed to be?

Why am I surrounded by all these people..

Yet, I feel so empty...

I wish I could just bleed my pain away...

But I never brought myself to do it..

I wish I could just disappear..

If I did, nobody would know that I would be gone

They'd just keep on living....

Yes.. I was lost. I may have wanted to die. But I was afraid to make the step to do it. I did not want to live in this world, but--at the same time--I wanted to live in this world. But through that darkness. I found something....Something so simple....I found

LOVE

I found it in my family...my friends...and most importantly, God. I thought I was alone. But when I look around, I am never alone. I have these people near me and they provide me with love and support. They uplift me and help me to overcome my struggles. If I am ever feeling lonely and unsure. I turn to them and they light up my heart with happiness. When you know who these people are, you will never feel lonely again. Thoughts of dying will turn to thoughts of wanting to live for tomorrow. But, along with receiving love from others, the biggest aspect of love needs to come from YOURSELF. When you love yourself and you have confidence, nothing can ever bring you down.

From this lesson, I also learned that we do not have to be medical experts or certified counselors to prevent someone from committing suicide or to relieve them from a state of depression/lonliness. We can do it by simply giving LoVe. I do it everyday. I may not know how people are feeling, but I give love through hugs, kisses (on the cheek), a simple smile, or just letting the person know "I love you". Even a simple action can make a big difference in another person's life.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee